I’m reading reports from many countries about the fact that isolation due to the Corona virus has caused a catastrophic increase in addictions.

Many have crossed the line from using to abusing. Out of control behavior. I get signals about this from many people. People who either feel that they themselves have crossed a line or someone close to them or a colleague.

Internet based gambling companies and casinos are more visible than ever. It start as a leisure activity to pass time and before people know it they are stuck in gambling.

Sex and porn is another addiction that a lot of people are stuck in. Something that is difficult to talk about and address.

When people are working from home, feel stressed and isolation. It’s easy to pour a glass of wine. When you are alone at home no one will notice.

If what I’m writing rings a bell either with yourself or someone close to you, it’s time to listen.

Dare asking!

Be mindful however HOW you ask. Confrontation leads to locked positions. The defense mechanisms kick in and you actually do more harm than good. Nobody has a good reaction to be put in a corner. Embarrassing and shaming is never the road forward.

You can bring up the topic in general terms and leave openings that would make it easy for the person to talk about their struggle. Empathy is an invitation to vulnerability

Evoking and eliciting – two key concepts all people should be familiar with. Mix that with empathy and the person will feel safe.

These three E’s (Evoking, Eliciting and Empathy) are foundational competencies for all leaders.

What I really mean by “dare asking” is to get close to people rather than avoiding. The best way to prevent defense mechanisms is to give something of yourself. Be generous with your own life. And most of the time the person will follow.

Have a brilliant day!

Ulf Lidman

 

Dare to ask!